And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
