when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
