Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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