gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Are my feet made of real feet?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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