i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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