I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
