The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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