Michael Bay diarrhea
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
