yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
