Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't deserve a penis
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
