she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just pee around me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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