I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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