We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
