It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
