i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
