Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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