On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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