HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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