watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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