i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
