are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
