She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
