At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
