Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
