Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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