am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
