You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
