Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
