She is in my trunk
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
