Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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