My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
