Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
