I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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