Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
