I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
