I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
