I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
