I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
