Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize