...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
