never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
