just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
