R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
