what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
even my farts smell like vagina
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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