I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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