It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
