So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
