Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
