69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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