I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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