She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
