hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
